My Coming Out Story

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Welcome back! This month I’d like to write about something a little different to what I normally do. It’s a lot more personal and I’m honestly a little nervous for you to read this but I want to challenge myself and be completely open about my life and who I am. This post will be about coming out and what a more fitting time to write about this then pride month.

It takes so much courage to tell the world who you are and I’m incredibly proud of myself for coming out as it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There was a time when I thought there was something wrong with me and that maybe I was incapable of love or that I would never be in a relationship. I didn’t even allow myself to go there and when I had a thought like that I would shut it down so quickly and told myself that it’s not possible. Therefore I continued to date guys because I felt pressure to fit in with my friends and do what society told me is normal and acceptable. I was 18 when it became a clear and understood thought because I started to develop deeper feelings for a girl in High School. I realised that I was capable of love and that I just preferred to kiss the girls rather than the guys. It all made sense now, the leading lady celebrity crushes, not being totally obsessed with One Direction was only because I’m gay. It was such a relief! However, it took a very long time to accept it.

I started to date a girl towards the end of High School and for the first time I felt what my friends were feeling when they had boyfriends and it made me so happy to know that I could have that feeling too because it really is no different. It was such a fun, scary, happy but confusing time that I look back on now and have no regrets! During the time that I was searching for acceptance within myself I never worried too much of what my parents would think because I knew they would love me no matter what, but more on that soon. I was lucky enough to have a Best Friend who came out in High School before me and of course I opened up to her first because she understood and I will always be thankful to her. When she came out no one really cared, she wasn’t treated differently and I’m sure people talked about it in private as is inevitable when you’re in High School but overall it wasn’t a big deal. I then started to tell the people who I thought would be okay with it and then slowly I think it just got around but I didn’t really mind because like my friends situation no one really cared, people were definitely surprised but the ones who I was close to showed me that they were happy for me.

“The world has bigger problems than boys who kiss boys, and girls who kiss girls.”

Some days were harder than others and I was okay most of the time but I started to struggle with it more as time went on because at the beginning I was running with all the excitement of having a girlfriend and then I started to really consider how my family would take it. I knew they would love me no matter what and I genuinely thought it wouldn’t be a big deal but I remember distancing myself from my parents and hiding in my room ashamed that I was hiding this secret from them. I know I needed that time to sort through it all and be ready to tell them because it’s all so confusing, I cannot express that enough. I would get so upset whenever I was drinking and break down to my friends about it, I would cry myself to sleep sometimes and my family started to notice a difference in me. They started to get really concerned and told me that I could talk to them about anything and in my head I thought maybe they knew and that they wanted me to come to them but I still pushed them away, which is my only regret.

My parents ended up finding out in a way that was not my choice and not their fault. I wish I had the chance to sit down with them and tell them myself when I was ready but looking back I wonder if I ever would’ve felt ready so it had its blessings. Their reaction was not what I was expecting and I struggled to understand why they couldn’t just be okay with it and why it was HARD FOR THEM. I never doubted that they loved me but I thought they would tell me they didn’t care and be happy for me but then I realised that before coming out, I was battling with the fact that I was gay for many years and here I was expecting them to be on board within a week. They needed time to process what this meant for me and to reshape their dreams they had for my future. Reflecting back now I believe we made the wrong choice to not continue to talk about it as a family, I became very closed off and never discussed girls or how I was feeling – afraid that they didn’t’ accept it and I think overtime they just weren’t sure where I was with it all so they never asked.

Jump forward some years and I talk about girls with them, I know they would welcome anyone that I’m dating with loving arms and they support me all the way. I feel so lucky and know that my coming out story and the process was much easier than many others. Sometimes people just need time and it may be hard to accept that but all you can do is continue to fight for your own truth while they figure it out.

Being that I’m pretty feminine I’m constantly coming out and not in a way that I feel pressure to it’s just that most people have an idea in their head of what a lesbian looks like and in reality, that Is just not true so people assume that I’m straight. Coming out is so much easier now and I cannot wait to be completely at ease with myself. I am so proud of the LGBT+ community and so thankful to the people who show extra support, ask questions to gain a better understanding, or simply just accept us for being who we are. He is your doctor, she is your child’s teacher, they are your neighbours and co-workers and this world WILL become a more inclusive place.

If you’re coming out take your time you will be accepted into a loving community that will support you all the way and to anyone who is struggling within themselves please let the world see you because we need you and if I can do it so can you. This translates to everyone, be yourself, dye your hair pink, don’t judge and be kind!

Lots of love and always remember, to be present in life.
Leticia xx

14 thoughts on “My Coming Out Story”

  1. Leticia, you have always been a beautiful person, inside and out. I remember being shocked when I heard that you had a girlfriend, but I think my comment was, as long as she’s happy. She deserves it. Don’t ever change Beautiful Girl. Stay true to you….

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      1. Beautifully written. Sharing our struggles to me is brave and inspiring. I am happy that you are being your true self. It is not healthy to live with secrets. You are a beautiful person and a lovely singer. This is all that matters. Cheers Janice

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  2. I’m sorry it was so hard for you to come out in High School. A few of us teachers had an inkling. None of us actually cared.
    We all thought you were a dedicated, hardworking, pleasant student. We all liked you because you were a wonderful to teach. I liked you because despite all the tough times, you persisted!
    I’m sorry I never said to you, it’s ok if your gay.
    I’m telling you now. I love you just the way you are! Always have, always will!
    I’m so proud of you have grand adventures, travelling the world and sharing your stories with everyone!
    Keep it up kiddo!
    Love you lots Tish,
    Michelle Peters

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  3. How much better our world is today, because of your courage at such a young age!! I haven’t known you long little one, but what you bring to this lifetime is undeniable, powerful and authentic. Not many ever reach any of those qualities in their life and choose to stay safe, yet unfulfilled and unhappy. I am proud beyond words of you and what you have lived thus far in your short lifetime. Continue to share your courage and your life story… the world needs it and YOU!! Love ya big as the Universe Leticia💝

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  4. You are and have always been an amazing young woman no matter who you love . I still remember your snow trip with us. I’m so glad you did come out and learn to love that about you too.
    Sometimes our expectations of how we or others react to something is not how we think it will be, it’s never wrong just different. That was something I found difficult to understand and I’ve just turned 40. You never stop learning about yourself and that’s a great thing, never loose you sparkle sweetie! I’m so proud to call you my niece xx

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    1. Aw thanks Sarah!! I really loved that trip and look back and appreciate what you and Alan did for us!! So fun 🙂
      We are definitely constantly learning, which is a great thing xox
      Miss you!! ❤️

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  6. Reading this made me very emotiomal, and brought up lots of feelings for me. One of the feelings was, sadness because I feel, as a parent I should of picked up on the signs, that in hind sight were there.
    At the time I had the feeling of being shocked due to how we found out, shocked because I thought ‘how bloody dumb am I’, shocked that Leticia wasn’t able to come to us and let us know her struggles.
    I’ve heard many parent’s say ‘if my child was gay it wouldn’t worry me’ I was one of those parent’s. Believe me when faced with this reality as a parent I was worried, especially around society acceptance, marriage, babies and more. Leticia had the ability to help us learn and understand because she was born this way.
    I remember saying to her in one of our many emotional conversation. ‘well Leticia now that you’re decided’ (I was going to finish the sentence, with ‘you need to give us time……’) Leticia interrupted through tears, very upset, ‘Mum don’t you understand I haven’t decided to be like this, this is how I was born’. At the time I couldn’t see anything wrong with the word ‘decided’, because it seemed to me that one day she decided to love girls, and with her reaction to the word ‘decided’ I felt I couldn’t say anything right. I now know different. Leticia, you say ‘that as a family we made the wrong choice to not continue to talk about it’. I understand and acknowledge that this would of been a confusing time for you. I felt I/we needed this time to adjust, learn, observe and grow. Thank you for giving me this time.
    Prince William was in the spotlight this week for saying ‘if one of my children decided…’, and there has been a lot of discussion about this in the media and his choice of using the word ‘decided’.
    One thing that upset me during the marriage equality debate/vote, and still does are negitive, condeming comments that come from people who haven’t had children yet or don’t have children that are gay (that they know of) and seem to think they are an authority on the subject because of their religious beliefs. I say, ‘think for a minute how you would feel if your instincts of human companionship (male, female relationships) were the other way round in society and you were the minority group’, ‘think for a minute about how you would feel if when you have a child your reality is, ‘my child is gay’.
    Leticia, you’re amazing. So happy you are following your dream to travel. Love you more than words can say ♥️🧡💛💚💙🌈 Mum XOXO

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  7. Thank you for sharing this Leticia. I imagine the hardest thing as a parent is thinking we have to give up the dreams that we have for our child, and realising that of course you can still have it all can take some time for a parent.
    Some of my favourite people have had the same challenge as you have and by talking about this you may make it easier for someone else. May you always find happiness and love in your journey xo

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